Where to start?

I'm pretty sure that only Colin and Natalie read these, so I think I might start just addressing them as letters to the two of you. If any of the rest of you are out there leaving...make yourself known! :)

Natalie and Colin,

This week is kind of crappy....I mean at best it's confusing.

Prayer please.

:)

On a good note, today I bought a motorized toothbrush. I literally screamed outloud in joy when I finished brushing my teeth with it the first time. Is there any reason why everyone doesn't own one of these?

Go out. Buy one today. You won't regret it.

On a serious note, I've been thinking alot about the verse in Phillipians 4:6-7...."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests before God. And the God of all compassion will guard your minds and hearts in Christ Jesus."

What does that really look like? How does that really play out? If we hold fast to the belief that God is all knowing, wise, and loves us intensely, then why should we bother with petition? Why does He care to hear our requests? Shouldn't we just submit to whatever He thinks is best and just direct our prayers in that way?

I guess I'm realizing more all the time that really living out a life with Jesus...kingdom oriented life...is messy and tension filled and doesn't always make sense. It's filled with thinking through the big theological questions in the most inconvient times and feeling at the end of your rope often. Whoever feeds people the lie that following Jesus is easy shouldn't do that anymore...it's a bunch of rubbish, as my dear Marcus would say. Living life with Jesus is hard, costly, painful and tension filled. But I can relate with the disciples when Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave him too with the crowds...and they said "Where else would we go? You have the words of life." There is nothing more valuable...more worth whatever cost....than following Him whereever that may lead me. Life with Jesus is almost always different than I expected, but it almost always is also better.

Mabye I'm writing all this today to remind myself. I think I need that reminder today.

Hope you two are having a good day.

Nicole

GOING TO THE CABIN TODAY!!!! YEA YEA YEA YEA YEA!!!!

Dogs. A (wo)man's best friend...

Tue May 23, 8:22 AM ET
PORTLAND, Oregon (Reuters) - An Oregon man has filed a $1.6 million "loss of companionship" claim against a neighbor who ran over his family's 13-year-old dog, Grizz.

Raymond Weaver ran over the golden retriever and cocker spaniel mix in 2004 with a pick-up truck, forcing the owner, Mark Greenup, to have the animal euthanized, according to a lawsuit by Greenup.

Greenup, whose claim is usually reserved for the loss of a spouse, says the dog provided each member of his family with solace, affection, friendship, love and protection.

__

This story will spark some of your memories as you recall my terrible tea-spilled-on-the-computer incident and the man trying to console me with his own personal story of running over a dog that week.

I seriously laughed out loud when I read this.

I suppose it's true - at least I didn't run over someone's dog. The computer only would've cost a couple of thousand dollars. Haha.

Days like today aren't supposed to happen...

I was just composing a blog about what a terrible day it's been today -- not enough sleep (from a lame lame vampire party last night) -- my morning was interrupted by a call from my roomate crying because our landlord is threatening to evict us (she is crazy...she also believes that our lawn is unacceptable and should be fixed in the next week, or we are homeless) -- and the usual Sunday hoopla that is to be expected....when I realized that I'm sick of complaining. There really really is too much to be thankful for.

It's amazing how that unexpected interruption of potential homelessnesss really took over my day. I was engulfed by a funk that could not be shaken...I even tried my usual coping mechanism - unneccesary busyness focused towards menial tasks - and found no resolve.

However, today I was overcome with emotion from the care and love of my community. Basically, I can't imagine how people live WITHOUT community...people who they can call on a Sunday and ask to help re-manicure a lawn and paint a house a few days later... people who they can call and ask for prayer when life isn't making sense ... people that they can go hang out with when they need time to sort of forget whatever is going on...and the knowledge that this community isn't going anywhere. They will be there in a week, month, and a year when the next random crisis hits. And they will be there for all the moments in between.

It's always been interesting to me how movies only show the main points of drama...generally all of the small moments of "boringness of life" are fast forwarded as some nostalgic music is playing. But I think those are the moments when life is lived and important foundations are built. It's those moments in a friendship...in a community...that result in the equity of friendship that is vital when there are necessary withdrawls. I am filled with joy for the life that our community has invested with each other. I don't know where I'd be without it. Life is worth it during the crappy days like today when you know you're not living it alone.

Thanks.

I guess I've joined the world of blogging....

I can't guarentee much on here - frequent posts or extreme wisdom, but I guess that I have officially become one of "those people"...you know, the ones with a MySpace account, Flickr account and now indeed a blog as well.

What has happened to me!?

I've been spending alot of time alone lately - in coffee shops....in other people's homes as children sleep (as a nanny, not some creepy stalker :) )...at my own home. And somehow I'm starting to cherish it in a way that I never have before. Giving myself time to read - to actually THINK - to pray and to reflect. To be wonderfully selfish.... and realize that I'm not always going to have a job where they pay me to sit in the sun and journal while twins sleep inside the house...and that my time, as busy as it may seem now, will never be so flexible and in some ways self contained.

Life has so many question marks and parathesis these days...

I've been focusing in a bit on what life after September 22nd looks like - that's graduation you know - and I think I'm starting to get a little bit of clarity...or at least few options. Check out this website... www.acresoflove.org . I might go spend some time in South Africa with this crew working in orphanages and doing photography... I'm sure (well at least I hope) this blog will someday be filled with those adventures.

As I end my first blog, I feel a little disappointed. Maybe I had grandiose ideas of beautiful prose rolling off my fingers....depths of insight and wisdom. I guess all you get this time is my jumbled rambling thoughts. Maybe after I get out the backlog of ideas that have collected I'll have some more beauty in what I'm writing. :)