Reminders..

Do you ever have a moment where something you should just know all the time hits you out of nowhere and you suddenly are shocked by the remeberance of it?

Tonight I was sitting with a group of dear friends...smoking the hookah, drinking some drinks in honor of our British friends who are visiting from London. As I sat there, waiting patiently for my next turn with the hookah, I was filled with excitement watching James meet all the incredible people who were there. And then it hit me. I get to see these people all the time. I have AMAZING friends. Alot of them. Some people are blessed to meet one or two people that they really connect with -- share life with -- who really really understand them. I have so many of those, who joined us that night and who were sitting in other places all over this city. How did I ever become entangled with all these absolutely fantastic people?!

I am a lucky girl.

And I need to remember more often just how blessed I am.

I moved here exactly five years ago today.


That's a strange thing.

Five years ago, I was bright eyed and bushy tailed. 19. On an adventure to another state with people I barely knew, but had already took up a great deal of space in my heart. I had no idea what the heck I was doing. I came with two carfuls of stuff and a few friends that drove me out to help. All I knew is that I wanted to come out here because... so oddly...in a dream... God had spoken to me that He wanted to change the world... but my part was to move out to Denver Colorado, and help other people who wanted to change that corner of the world. So, I dropped everything and came.

It's absolutely impossible to summarize the past five years. There is no one word, one phrase...not even a simple picture that I can give to encapsulate it all. Believe me, I've been trying all day. There have been a million moments -- laughing so hard that I cry...crying so hard that I end up laughing...meeting the most fantastic people ever....watching lives change, lives ruin, and every step in between. Falling in love -- with a city, with people, with life...and most of all with Jesus. My dad being diagnosed with cancer. My best friends meeting the people that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Graudating from art school. Trips...Mexico, Italy, England twice, ... Seattle... North Carolina, California... Waco, Texas....Atlanta...each of those places are major stories in themselves. Living with so many people -- Kate, Jontee, Bethany, Kristi, Christy, Jolene, Lindsey, Missi, Angie, Jolene, Bethany, Christina, Skyler, Seth, Heather, Scott, Jeremy, Caleb, Brad, Kate, Murielle, Renee, Sarah, Allison (24 people...that HAS to be a record for a five year period!).

Learning. By grace. And sometimes the hard way.

I had no idea the adventure that I was in for.

But it makes me want to be ready for whatever the next adventure looks like. Maybe that means continuing the adventure here. Or elsewhere. I dunno. Pete and I decided tonight that Pete, Amy and I should plant a church in South Africa or England. Sounds good to me :). Or something. That's the funny thing about these sorts of things...it like for me at least I don't get to choose them. They choose me....the adventure...the calling...whatever you want to call it. The adventure calls out, and there is nothing you can do but run full force toward it.

Thinking back on the past five years makes me want to always be that brave. To say yes to the dreams that creep up in my heart...or literally in my dreams. To trust Jesus as He writes the story in me and through me. To go forward even when you don't know where you're going. To believe in the maps you hold even if they seem conflicting.

To keep walking when for all you can tell you don't have a map at all.

Lions and tigers and ....hippos....oh my.

Last night I had a very strange dream that was totally a combination of my last conversations and thoughts before I went to bed...the best part though, was the section of my dream where I was in Africa, with my friend Andrea, on a safari.

We were on a safari in South Africa, though for some reason, there was only me, Andrea and one other person, and it seemed that Andrea was the closest thing that I had to a tour guide. Suddenly, we looked across and there were two hippos charging our way. Andrea made us hit the ground and play dead. Apparently, this is the only way to be safe from a hippo attack. As we waited as the hippos approached us and then slowly started to sniff all around us, Andrea told me that if we played dead, they wouldn't eat us, but I totally didn't believe her. I remember thinking, "I really never thought I'd die from a hippo attack on a safari. Crazy." Then she let me know that if they started to nibble on my shoulders, that was the first sign that they would eat me anyhow. I woke up as they were starting to nibble on my shoulders!

I did some internet research this morning, and although hippos are considered the most deadly animal in Africa due to their aggression towards humans, there was no articles on how to prevent a hippo attack.

Since I'm going to Africa later this year, I'm going to hope that either a.) that wasn't a prophetic insight into how I'm going to die there on a safari or b.) I was getting some divine revelation on how to survive a hippo attack that hasn't yet been leaked onto the internet.

:)

Or I shouldn't watch Man vs. Wild with Brad and Kate before I go to bed next time. Haha.

I've had a couple of silly posts lately, but tonight at womens' group we were looking at a chapter in the book of Luke in the Bible. Basically, Jesus goes back to where He grew up, after preforming all these incredible miracles - healing people, releasing demons from people, raising people from the dead.

When he gets back to his hometown, people are really doubtful that's he's as incredible as the stories they've heard. They know Jesus -- they were around when he was getting his diapers changed and going through the ackward teenage years. That guy is now doing miracles? Yeah right. And Jesus responds by saying that of course people don't get honor in their hometown...he expects this from them.

It's easy to look at the people from where he grew up and think that they are being shortsighted or just plain dumb. But I was thinking about it and I wonder if it was just too hard to imagine Jesus outside of the box that they had comfortably put him in. It was easy to imagine him as a carpenter, brother and son that they had always known. It took alot more effort to imagine him as a Healer, Messiah and Saviour.

So it brought me back to myself and the way I view Jesus. Am I willing to keep Jesus in the little boxes that I've put him in? Consider him only in context of the ways I'm famliar and comfortable with (aka my "hometown" for Jesus)...or am I willing to honor him by letting him reveal the fullness of who he is.

Because the truth is, Jesus isn't honored when I keep him small, safe and comfortable. He's not honored when I try to keep him in the box of how I understand him.

And I don't want to serve a God so small that I can wrap my mind around him anyway!

I must allow him to teach me new things...bring me to new places...and experience parts of him that I never have before, so that I can know him more fully and in reality. But, that means that he must do new things so that I can understand him more fully. If he doesn't operate outside my box and my understanding I'll always see him in the same small ways.

And I pray that he'll keep me on my toes as I race to understand more about him. That he'll save me from my small perspective and safe grounds so that I can experience his fullness -- and in that laugh all my laughter and weep all my tears. Experience it all...and all of Him.