Recovering when things are lost. ...

I had a realization last night.

I'd lost my dancing shoes.

Not literally of course. I will dance in any shoes, even if that mean turning my ankle repeatedly in really high heels on a stage in front of a few hundred people. (Yes that actually happened a few months ago. I think it was my most embarrassing moment.)

But last night a little crew of us went to a concert, which as a side note was really entertaining. There was the strangest man who was the singer for this band, "Panther" that opened up for Architecture in Helsinki. While he was singing and dancing (imagine continuous Elaine from Seinfield dancing), my new friend Steve and I were deliberating if he was on drugs...or needed to be because he was crazy. (Which brought up a point that I should explore in another blog - why do we pay lots of money to see musicians wig out on their drugs on stage?) But - then I realized that he was a little crazy, but also feeling so free to dance and be silly and enjoy himself. I was determined to find that place as well, despite a long week at work and my whole body and emotions being exhausted. So as Architecture in Helsinki came on I tried to find my dancing shoes...only to realize that I had shelved them at some point in the past few years, so that I had more room for "sensibility" and "maturity". Yuck. I've become boring I think. At least I'm bored with me in that sense. :)

I've decided I want to be the old woman who is always laughing from the belly...not afraid to dance in ANY sceanrio...and lives life with richness and fullness and constant adventure. I can't believe that I already let some of that die in me in my mid-twenties!

There's more than this.

Thank God there's more than this.