At dinner with my friend Gretchen last night we were talking about choices...making choices to stick with things when it's hard because it's honoring to the Lord...choosing to love someone...choosing to stop loving someone when it's unhealthy...choosing where we want to go in life and choosing to step into the fullness of what God has for us...and I really think that the brokered power that God has given us to make decisions is incredible.

There's such incredible wisdom in reconginzing though that we are still responsible for our decisions. Stick with me here...I think too often when we are in a rough time we look at our life and think, 'Why did Jesus do this to me?...Why is He making me feel this way about this person? ...Why won't He take away this desire ... this circumstance...this ________' (fill in the blank. We all love to blame Him for things that aren't His to be blamed for....). And I think that too often we don't pay attention to the fact that we've been very active in our own lives. We don't live these passive, victimized lives at the hand of a God who only slightly cares about our interests. As we follow Jesus, we are given millions of decisions. I can't begin to understand how the tension of our choices and God's will fit together. There are alot of people alot smarter than me that have come to very contradictory conclusions on such matters. But I do know that it seems that God is in complete control and yet He's given alot of power to us partcipate in our own lives.

I can only imagine how it grieves the heart of God when we shake our fists at Him...a swirling mix of adult anger and childlike confusion...all for things that we are actually responsible for.

For more eloquent thoughts on this...and a very funny story...check out Seth's blog from a few months ago...about the kids that I nanny for. Amazing. I should find that link. That would be helpful.